Turns out James Bond wasn’t as much "the man" as first thought.

Disclaimer:  I am not responsible for any adverse reactions to this post.  If you have a weak stomach and have had a bad experience with gin, it is advised you discontinue reading immediately.  I am not responsible for nausea associated with the smell of gin or that of green olives.  You know who you are, consider yourself warned.  That means you Greg!

It has come to my attention that the famous line from all James Bond movies, "…martini, shaken not stirred.", really was a way to tell everyone that good ole Mr. Bond couldn’t handle a stiff drink.  When you shake a martini the ice melts more then if it is stirred.  Thus a shaken martini is more watered down.  Also, when shaken it becomes cloudy and has small ice chips floating in the glass.  One of the great things about a martini, is how clear and clean it looks.  When shaken it takes away some of the elegance that defines this drink. 

What is worse is that in newer Bond movies he orders a "Vodka" martini.  Vodka?  My God, were the writers insane?  Nothing like taking one of the coolest guys and turning him into a wuss.  I know that you vodka martini drinkers think you are of the same caliber, but considering that premium gin is 96 proof and vodka is only 80 pretty much sums it up.  Plus, vodka has no taste so all you are drinking is watered down grain alcohol.  The Russians would be so disappointed!

And if you are one of those dirty or filthy people, just go ahead and get yourself another drink.  Stop insulting the gin by putting olive brine in your drink to mask the taste.  Besides you are paying top money for the gin so why replace it with something that is essentially free for the bar.  Nothing looks worse then a pale, cloudy, puke green martini.

My ordering recommendation:  extra dry Sapphire martini (stirred not shaken) with a single olive, two being the absolute maximum.  Bartenders please take note, "extra dry" does not mean no olives!!  I wish I knew which idiot started that rumor.

I am always looking for new energy drinks.  Even after my first post on them I have tried a few dozen different kinds, but I still find the Sobe drinks the best tasting on the market.

I was in the store the other day and I spied a can on the shelves that I have never noticed before labeled Kronik Energy.  The packaging was pretty cool and the name, while a little dated, was pretty "rad".  I said what the hell and grabbed a can of the low carb version.

The drink was a very cool neon blue.  Best looking energy drink to date.  The smell was interesting and what I can almost describe as "green", if you get my drift.  Now came the taste test, and it has got to be one of the worst tasting things in history.  I’m pretty sure even "ball sweat" would taste better then this drink. There are no real comparisons that I can make but please take my word for it, this drink tastes like shit.

I have read a few reviews on the web that state the regular version tastes pretty good.  My experience was so bad that I don’t think I will be giving it a try anytime soon.  But by all means be my guest, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

No, not the type that are shaped like the male anatomy.  Or even the ones that women call "personal massagers", which clearly they are made with only one thing in mind. Maybe they call them this to make themselves feel less dirty.

This specific vibrator is a alarm clock.  You place the nifty bad shaker under your mattress or pillow and when your alarm goes off the whole bed will shake.  The company promises that even the most sound sleeper will wake up using this product.  From personal experience I have slept though earthquakes that registered almost six on the Richter scale, so I’m not too sure if what the company claims is true.   Maybe the combination of a really annoying sound and the bed shaking would do the trick.

Pick yours up here, and by the way, don’t ask how I found this

My man over at dialidol has gotten himself a lawyer.

As you can see, DialIdol is back online. There was no legal case to begin with but I had to make sure with professional legal advice. I suppose FremantleMedia might chose to push the issue further but I hope not. I have changed the DialIdol logo and made a few other cosmetic changes but other than that DialIdol is still the same old web site.

I’m glad that he stuck to it and got his site back up.  If you are a fan of American Idol, go grab the dialer and lets see just how much we can manipulate the results.  Even if you aren’t a fan you still might want to "stick it to the man". So download the software and set it to vote for my favorite to win, Taylor Hicks.

First post on dialidol | My post on the dialidol shutdown.

I love stupid websites that let you create stupid things.  Today I have discovered the Church Sign Generator website.  I have been making my own personal church signs for the last hour.  It’s dumb I know, but oddly addicting.  Send me yours and I will post it here.

The wife out does me everytime.

Submitted by Shantae Jones
The Best Reason to Visit Florida

Should one email or text message while sitting on the can?  The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette has some good information on this very subject:

I mean really think about it. Everything that you touch with your hands is a source of possible contamination - especially out in public where you have no idea what filthy bastards have been using the bathroom before you. So if you touch something, and then touch your Blackberry, you are pretty much coating that Blackberry with feces. Really. And that’s pretty gross when you think about it.

I imagine that not many people actually do this but I have been in the bathroom and heard someone playing a game on their phone.  If you are touching things in the bathroom, touching your phone, and later putting that phone up to your face, you are pretty much putting other peoples’ ass matter on your face.  That’s just plain nasty!  Bottom line is that unless its a life and death you shouldn’t be handling any cell phones / pda’s while visiting the bathroom.

Check out more great bathroom etiquette over at icbe.org.

Looks like dailidol was shutdown sometime last week.  The guy who designed the software that logs the frequency of busy signals while voting on American Idol to predict the outcome has taken his site down because of a cease and desist letter issued from Fox. 

Goliath (as they will be known for the purposes of this bulletin) sent this "David" a cease and desist letter yesterday claiming that DialIdol infringes on copyrights they own. I am not sure how they think I infringe and many of the allegations they made in the letter are false but in order to protect myself I am taking DialIdol down while I consult with the appropriate resources.

Goliath is very upset with the entire premise of this web site, particularly the way DialIdol "measures the busy signal" to predict the results. Given this I find it highly unlikely that I can change a few logos/colors/names to satisfy their concerns.

I don’t think he did anything wrong.  Maybe Fox should take their head out of their asses and figure out how to fix the flaw that was so easily discovered by the creator of dialidol instead of flexing their muscles with legal bullshit.

Read my original post about dialidol here.

SANTA FE — Gov. Bill Richardson will travel to Mexico today to pitch the idea of combining efforts to attract the first binational team in the history of the National Football League.

Get off it already!  If you spent as much time worrying about the public school system as you do about bringing the NFL to New Mexico maybe my kids would have a chance at a good education.  I bet the $5.5 million you spent buying a new jet would have helped.  Idiot!

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), whose mission is "to maintain the technological superiority of the U.S. military", is looking to create little hybrid insect robots.

DARPA seeks innovative proposals to develop technology to create insect-cyborgs, possibly enabled by intimately integrating microsystems within insects, during their early stages of metamorphoses. The healing processes from one metamorphic stage to the next stage are expected to yield more reliable bio-electromechanical interface to insects, as compared to adhesively bonded systems to adult insects.

Does anyone else see an issue here?  Does creating insect cyborgs even sound like a good idea?   It sounds more like something that could turn out very bad.  If they plan to use them as weapons, which what other reason would that have for creating them in the first place, it would give a new meaning to the killer bee.

Just in case you might want to jump on Amazon and pick yourself up "How To Survive a Robot Uprising : Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion"

There have been some memorable moments that have occured on March 14Th.  Chris Klein, Albert Einstein and Billy Crystal share this day as their birthday. On this very day Eli Whitney received a patent for the cotton gin.  Oh, and if you needed something to celebrate then you can always turn to Pi Day.  March 14Th, written 3-14 represents the most common set of numbers for π: 3.14.  How krazy exciting is that?  OK, maybe not, but you know what other holiday falls on March 14Th? 

Steak and BlowJob Day!!!! woohoo!!

That’s right!  This day was created in 2001 to give the ladies in our life a chance to show us how much they love us.  I mean it’s only fair considering that Valentines day has always been for the ladies.  Just imagine how much harder we will try to get your Valentines present right knowing that within a month we are celebrating Steak and BJ day.

Check out the official webpage for great recipes to cook that steak. By the way guys… don’t forget the Semenex.  With "Love never tasted so good" as their motto how could you go wrong?

"Semenex is where to go for delicious sperm guaranteed. Finally, an answer to the ‘I don’t like the taste’ argument."     -  MAXIM  Magazine

From me to all other men in the world, "Happy Steak and BJ day!!"