I lived in Japan four years, in which time I was witness to some great Japanese inventions.  Luckily this wasn’t one of them.

"I feel as though I live at Walmart."

Growing up in Rochester, NY we went to Walmart for only one reason, to switch price tags on skateboards to get them for cheap.  Yes, I wasn’t the most honest and I did have few morally questionable incidents, but I really wasn’t that bad.  Besides for every bad thing I did there always was some kind of karma repercussion.  For example, on the ride home from switching the skateboard price tags I had bought a big bag of Grasshopper cookies.  The Grasshoppers of the 80’s were like Oreos but had a green filling and tasted like mint.  The modern day Grasshopper cookies are covered in chocolate and are nothing like an oreo inside. I then proceeded to eat about 30 cookies, which of course made me horribly sick. Take it from me, green minty puke is nasty.

These days it’s rare if I don’t visit Walmart every couple of days.  The one I have in my area is also a "Super" Walmart.  So not only do I go to get the odd and ends during the week, every other Saturday I get the pleasure of going grocery shopping.  The lines are horrible and there have been times that I have stood in line longer then it has taken me to shop.  But…  When your grocery bill is 75 to 100 dollars cheaper then if you shopped at any other grocery in town, it’s really a no-brainer.

People say that Walmart is part of that huge corporate conspiracy to put the little guy out of business.  What I say is thank God they don’t stock Grasshopper cookies. Yuk!!

Anyone remember this possible son of Satan?

Here, maybe the jingle will ring some bells.

My buddy and me like to climb up a tree. My buddy and me, we’re the best friends there could be My buddy. My buddy. My buddy and me.

I’m not sure why society continually tries to get boys to play with dolls but this could have been the worst.  Possibly just a marketing ploy to freak kids out when three years later Child’s Play hit the theatres or was there more?  Get enough dolls out there and then turn out a movie that makes children not want to sleep with their "buddies"?  Holy krap!  Was this a master plan to upset the gay community by scaring kids straight!?!?! This could go down as one of the biggest conspiracies ever.

Adrian, talking about The Black Eyed Peas.

My friend Daniel likes my humps.

Ashlee, asking me a question while I was cooking.

Can I cut the cheese?

You guys rock! Thanks for always making me laugh.

The Sneeze is by far my favorite blog.  His post this week about Franklin from Charlie Brown is classic.

While most of the Charles Schulz characters hogged the spotlight by carrying blankets, playing the piano or just being filthy, Franklin flew under the radar keeping it real.

If you find this post amusing don’t miss "Steve don’t eat this", probably one of the best reads on the Internet.

Fainting goats? This is a video clip that has been on the Internet for some time. If you haven’t seen it you are really missing out. This is just too funny!

Click here to watch the clip.

Krappy morning!! I was supposed to set the alarm for 4:45 am but instead set it for 5:45 am. My oldest was supposed to be dropped off by 5:00 am she lightly taps on my door at 5:18 am. Shit! So I scramble to throw on some sweats and rush out the door.

What would have helped this otherwise shitty morning would have been a nice pick me up. Move over Red Bull, Rockstar, and even Pimp Juice introducing the best liquid crack on the market, Georgia Coffee. I was introduced to this coffee while stationed in Japan. Getting addicted to this product is inevitable. The first time you have one you say “What the hell is the big deal?” Well, two months later you can’t live without throwin’ back a couple of these a day. No one really knows what makes them so addicting, and the coffee really isn’t all that good, but after I got back to the US the withdrawals were killer and you can’t find these buggers anywhere. Damn it Coca-Cola (did I mention Coke makes it?) I need some, just a little, come on I will give you my stereo, ok how about my car, just a taste, pleeeaaase. I NEED IT!!!! RIGHT NOW!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU BASTARDS!!!!

So, if you ever visit Japan, try yourself some Georgia Coffee. Just be careful the addiction sneaks up on you and the detox is a bitch!

It is pretty well known that the wife and I drink on the weekends. Hell who am I kidding we pretty much celebrate any chance we get. The other day we decided to celebrate that the Montano bridge was opened back up to four lanes. I mean come on that was a huge day is Albuquerque history. Why not celebrate?

Now this weekend we have a good excuse for the whole weekend. 1)Friday: well cause it’s Friday of course. Do you really need another reason. I bet more people drink on Friday just because its Friday then any other day. I would wager Monday comes in a close second though. 2) Saturday: Pay-per-View UFC. Yes we are that low ordering a PPV just for the excuse to drink. Just kidding, actually we both recently found a passion for UFC. Another great Tivo suggestion, The Ultimate Fighter. 3)Sunday: The Super Bowl, wait… Am I even allowed to say that? Maybe I should have said “The Big Game”. Ah… screw the NFL it’s my blog right?

With a weekend of hard core drinking ahead of us, we are really going to need to stock up on some energy drinks. I have found that having a Red Bull before that first glass of wine really helps curb the occassional pass-outs on the couch.

“Authorities seized 600 pounds of ‘bathtub cheese’ from a small ranch in southwest Riverside County last week.”

“The seizure of the illegally produced cheese was one of the largest on record in California, according to the Department of Food and Agriculture.”

To get busted for making illegal cheese just sucks. I mean how much money can be made from making illegal cheese? Could you imagine in prison…

Bullqueer: “What are you guys in for??”
Cheese Guys: “Ummm, ahhh… for making cheese?”

How much chance of survival do you see here?

Read the whole article here

Cowboy Hat: $5.00
Toy Pistol: $1.99
Having this picture posted by your wife on myspace.com: Priceless!

Ever wonder what the tough MMA (mixed martial arts) fighters do on their off time? Well here is my friend Greg. You would never guess that he is a weapon of mass destruction, would you?
Maybe the guy he is fighting on Feb. 9th will see this picture and underestimate the raw power of the undistputed, insane, gunslinging, Greeeeggggg “The Urban Cowboy” SSSSmmmmiiiitttthhhh.